I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
