My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize