Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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