belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
