if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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