i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
