hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
