we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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