Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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