just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The adults are the big ones right?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
