I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize