"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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