Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
