do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
