i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Are we still banned from the library?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Randomize
