Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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