Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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