hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
The feeling are messing with the penis
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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