There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
