I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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