Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
