There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
