Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
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Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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