Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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