I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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