Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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