so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
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