I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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