I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
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Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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