Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
