Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
