got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Randomize
