if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize