To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
