Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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