Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
