I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
