The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I'm really busy with my period
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