We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
