We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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