i jhust puked up my retainher.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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