There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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