It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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