meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
