Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
how drunk are you?
Several
I have peed in a lot of sinks
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
