From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I see more hoeing in ur future
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