worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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