Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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