That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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