Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
