PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
