why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
