the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
