you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
