For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
