I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
