i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
