I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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