I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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