i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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