look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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