i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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